Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
