3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
