whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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