you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
