I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
