took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
