i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize