youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
