i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
