Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
