Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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