i permit you to call me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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