the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
