I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
