He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
