So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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