need another drink. this is the easiest way
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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