I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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