he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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