I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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