I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
