a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize