Already got asked if we're dating
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
