so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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