either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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