IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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