Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
