I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
