Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
