She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
