She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize