Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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