another moral hangover. fuck.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
