Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
