So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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