If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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