I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
