well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
