im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
