yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
