why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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