i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize