I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
