Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
