dude i'm inner monologue high
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
