She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I have fence marks all over my body
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
