Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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