well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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