what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
