If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
