he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
