I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
