I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize