Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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