I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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