Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
