it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
