dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
