I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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