Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
