Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
