ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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