And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
