call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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