Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
