Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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