Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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