please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
