i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
