So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
