Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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