I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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