I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
